Today marks the day
that I, Lacey McDonald, have officially decided to share my twisted life
stories with the world. Before I begin pouring out my soul to you all, I
thought it might be nice for some of you to know a thing or two about myself.
On the other hand, these stories may serve a better purpose if I am just a
complete stranger. So if you believe that's the case, than please don't let me
keep you any longer.
I was born and
raised in Milwaukie, Oregon and my family is easily the coolest thing about me.
I'm actually pretty bad at telling people about myself. People say your name
says a lot about you? Well then let's talk about that.
My dad calls me
Scooby Doo, or Lou. My mom calls me Lulu-belle. My brother calls me sista and
Laceeeeeeee(Emphasis on the "eeeeeeee"). My grandpa calls me Jack.
And my roommates call me Lace.
When I was born
there was a lot of discussion about my name. My parents chose Lacey simply
because they liked it. My aunt Heather begged them not to name me that because
it sounded like a hookers name. Apparently the thought of their first born,
adorable, angel of a baby girl being perceived as a hooker didn't bother my
parents much.
I haven't ever known
another Lacey human being in my lifetime so I can't tell you how hookerish the
average Lacey is. I have, however, had the pleasure of discovering upon meeting
many people that Lacey is a very popular dog name. It is my favorite thing in
the world. Conversations go like this.
"Hey
I'm-----"
"I'm
Lacey!"
To which people
respond in one of three ways.
"Oh no way?
That is so cool! My dog's name is Lacey!!"
As if the thought of sharing a name with a furry flea
ridden animal is exciting?
or "Oh I have a
dog named Lacey, that's weird."
and then there is my personal favorite:
"Awww I used to have a dog named Lacey, she was killed/she died…"
And then there is a
weird pause and I realize we can never be friends so we depart and I spend the
rest of my life avoiding that person.
To make matters
worse (or better?) I have a book. The book is called Lacey: My Life As A Toy Poodle. My sweet, thoughtful parents
gave me this book as a young child. It tells the story of, well you guessed it,
a toy poodle named Lacey. It isn't exactly a happy story either.
So there. That's my
name. In time I suppose you will know enough about me and then you can decide
for yourself if I exhibit the qualities of a hooker or a furry, drooling
poodle. Let me know.
